‘Tis the Season…
Dec 11th, 2008 by Amy
…so why is it so freaking busy?! I mean, come on. We all talk about cheer and joy and wishes for a happy and healthy new year. Things I really enjoy and really do hope for. And then that little thing called time comes a-knockin’ on my door and whoop! I just turn crazy.
Just this morning I lost it when I broke a cereal bowl. Shattered to bits on my kitchen floor and I start crying. What the f–k was that all about? I lost it because having to clean up the broken bowl bits was just one more thing I had to do at this most wonderful time of the year. That and pick up the trash that some critter went through in the night and gloriously spread all over our yard. Oh, and rebuild my iphone. And don’t forget that 2, yes 2, warning lights were on in my car when I started it up for the first time today.
So now I’m sitting back and venting to the world. But my venting is not in vain.
I’m also here to say that I’m pleased that I am able to bend down and pick up the broken bowl bits, that I’m glad a hungry critter got an unexpected snack in the night, that I have an iphone, and that I’m lucky enough to not only have a car but be able-bodied enough to drive it (Sean would argue “kinda”) and see while I’m doing so.
So enough of the consumerism and the mayhem of the holiday season. Here’s to honestly and heartfully being thankful and grateful for what I have in my life: an amazing partner, exceptional children, a loving family and some of the best friends a person can ask for.
Need I more? Absolutely not.
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When asked what my favorite holiday is I always answer…Thanksgiving…not because I am so skinny that I could indeed eat an entire turkey — especially the skin — but because there is no pressure. There is no pressure to be sitting at everyone’s table — thank God for understanding families — no pressure to get to the mall before it closes…no pressure to wrap presents that after they are opened get that “Oh…that’s cool…” comment. And there is no holiday guilt…I’m supposed to smile and nod and host and cook and bake and wrap until the Martha Stewart bitch in me is screaming, “Merry F*&^ing Christmas!” instead of remembering that God sent His son to us, and we should be singing, “Happy Birthday” instead of “Jingle Bells”…
I came across a song this year…an new one by Amy Grant…some of the words are…
“I need a silent night, a holy night, to hear an angel voice through the chaos and the noise. I need a midnight clear, a little peace right here to end this crazy day with a silent night.”
The name of the song is…are you ready?…”I Need a Silent Night”. It’s my new favorite Christmas song…one that is appropriate for every day, really…We, well at least me, I get caught up in the “calendar” of everything…got a meeting this night and a rehearsal that night and a wedding on Saturday and gotta sing at Mass after that and Lauren has a soccer game and a cross country meet and how am I gonna get Joey from school when I am supposed to be over there doing that thing I don’t really want to do but already said I would. I wonder sometimes what it would be like to be sick…that sounds morbid I guess, but I sometimes I wonder if things would get done if I couldn’t do them. Of course they would…but they wouldn’t be done by me. That is my purgatory…my way is the best way, right? Probably not, but until I am willing to buy into that it will never be “right”…maybe that should be my new year’s resolution…to not always be right and allow things to be done “wrong”. What could it hurt? Maybe I would feel less pressure…hmmm…maybe…