Comments on: Girl on Fire

By: SGillar

SGillar — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 05:13:44 +0000

dude, I have a very similar problem with my children. pick one and he has it, similar to the problem Diane had with her son. I really like the fire too and am amazed at how open it is and my goodness, I would never want to squelch it.

Except with the child is acting like an a**. I would love to be that mom with the patience that never ends and has that tolerant smile on her face, like I see on your sometimes. But that person I am not.

I am in unknown territory too and I had this great book about how to talk to children called the STEP book and the maids lost it. And an XBox controller. Thankfully the XBox red-ringed when I was 90% on Star Wars Lego (for the 2nd time). So I guess I’ll never finish that game.

But that’s another story… Anyway… I really wish I could find that book. I mean, to have the answers in my hands and then so cruelly taken from me! Torture. I’m sure it holds all truths, yet my holy grail was just thrown out with the peas.

By: Betka

Betka — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 19:27:11 +0000

Hey, Aim…I came here to find a picture of Ava and Reid for the First Grade. I read them my story about them — “Ava Who Always Smiled” and frankly, they loved it…which is cool…but I wanted to show them a picture to go with the names…ANYWAY…I read what you wrote, and you know — somewhere down deep in that heart of yours — that you had these same issues with Reid. Sometimes, and I’m guessing here, but maybe sometimes you think too much…that sounds mean, I suppose, but sometimes kids are just stinkers, plain and simple. She is who she is like Joey is who he is and Lauren and Reid and Christopher and Ethan and Luke and everyone else. I had anguish with Joey…and while he did not nor does he have some of the problems that Ava has, he still made me cry myself to sleep at times…”Why can’t he sit still? Why does he throw up all the time? Why can’t he be just like everyone else?” I know that there isn’t a simple fix, but like Diane said, one day you will wake up and your children will be grown…I didn’t get a medal, but I clearly remember Mom telling me in one of “those” moments when I was whining about not getting to leave my house…”It’s not your turn. Didn’t you learn anything in kindergarten? You have to wait your turn. Your turn will come, but you must be patient.” Yuck! I hate that word…

BTW…I never pray for patience…God will indeed answer your prayer with things to be patient about…pray instead for mercy…at least that’s what I do. “Dear God…please forgive me for the sins I am about to commit…” because you will commit them…not because you don’t love or care, BUT BECAUSE YOU DO! If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t be so hard on yourself. But that’s another thing…I think as a stay-at-home mom we are conditioned to think that if our children aren’t angels that somehow it reflects badly on us…never mind that they KNOW they aren’t supposed to climb in the clothes at Farm and Fleet, but do it any way…never mind that you pick them up and put them in the lady’s cart who had the audacity to tell you that you were too harsh when you drug them out for the fifth time, swatted their behind, and told them to sit down or else. But the best part is the look you get when you tell her she’s right…call the police, I’ll wait…oh, dear I’m off on a tangent…

The point is this…you are the perfect mother for her…God knew you could do it, and He knew I couldn’t. when I see you with your children, I am really quite honestly in awe of your persistance and patience. I don’t have it in me…BUT YOU DO! I’ve seen it, I’ve cried because of it — at your stellar ways and my inability to possibly know how on earth you do it all. I wish I knew more other than this…cut yourself some slack…and chalk it up to the “f*&Ked up Fours”! I love you lots! #3

By: TeamMak

TeamMak — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 14:22:53 +0000

HI there! I don’t think it’s possible to extinguish. You have to roll with it (or at least strive for “semi-contained”). It’s who she is. But, the trick is rolling with it while maintaining your own sanity, her safety and your whole familys’ overall well being. Good luck with that

She’s growing and changing. Always. These challenges will subside. But you will be due a HUGE medal at graduation

By: Diane

Diane — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 03:07:37 +0000

At best, being a mother is always a challange but some weeks are harder than others. This sounds like a doozy. I know there are lots of things different between a child with Down Syndrome and one without – lots more to deal with – BUT…..

I can’t tell you how many times Ava’s daddy truly challenged my sanity and how many times I asked myself those same questions. Sometimes the battle of wills was very strong and most times I wasn’t really sure who won. I remember telling Sean (after one of our later battles) that if I lived to see him grown up I was going to give myself a medal – ’cause I would deserve it. Imagine my surprise when he presented me a medal at his graduation from college that said “Way to go, Mom”.

That said – I would add this…. It was worth every minute. I am so proud of both my boys and what they have accomplished. I like to think that I had at least a little bit of making them turn out that way.

I see that same pride in your future. You have wonderful children and I know you will see them grow and accomplish great things in their own way. I know right now that medal seems very far away, but I know you will get one some day. Hang in there.

We love you and all you do for our grandchildren.