Thoughts of the Day
Sep 1st, 2006 by Amy
I was sitting at work writing promotional materials for the new MOWAM newsletter. In my job, I am advocating for the rights of the elderly, the homebound and the disabled—citizens who are often forgotten in our competitive, fast-paced, technologically driven society. While writing what I hope to be a compelling piece, I couldn’t help but think about my own family and Ava in particular. Will she one day be one of the “forgotten” members of our society? What kind of a role will I continuously play in her life? What kinds of actions will Sean and I, or Reid, take when the (hopefully not) inevitable day comes when she is directly mocked or ridiculed? How much bureaucracy will we have to wade through to ensure she not only gets what she needs in life, but absolutely deserves as a member of our society? What does it mean to me that she IS different and needs more but that it doesn’t make me love her any less?
As I fight back the tears in my 6X6 cubicle, I have mixed emotions. Part of me is scared shitless about the future and the responsibility under my wing. The other part of me is so fucking determined to share the beauty (without vanity) that is “difference,” to fight the battle so that our culture might finally get a glimpse into the humanity we all deserve.
Which brings me to my previous post: what is MY question? I think one question might be this: Is there a difference between personal fulfillment and advocacy for others?
3 Responses to “Thoughts of the Day”
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Wow — an incredibly powerful post. You have, as usual, done an amazing job of framing the issue. And it completely resonates with the way I feel.
Regarding your question, I can interpret it in one of two ways.
The first asks the question, “Is advocacy for others just another way of achieving personal fulfillment?” Or put another way, “Is there a selflessness to advocacy for others, or is it just another way of helping ourselves?” To this I would respond that advocacy for others is both selfless as well as personally fulfilling.
The second asks, “Is it possible seek for the self while also trying to advocate, or help others.” For example, is it hypocritical to spend money on yourself for comfort or self fulfillment, while claiming to advocate for the elimination of poverty? One argument would say that you’re not truly dedicated to ending the suffering of others if you keep resources for yourself instead of putting them to the cause. How Christ/Budda-like do we need to be in order to serve good? Do we have to give it all away, including our lives? Does anything less make us corrupt? This is certainly the stuff of religion, but my own take is that the answer lies in balance. I don’t think it’s bad or evil for someone to take care of themselves and their family for comfort or self-serving needs, as long as that is kept in balance in their lives and the lives of those around them. We all know someone who is consumed with the material world, and cares little for real good action toward helping others. This is corrupting, poisonous, and evil. Greed is certainly the base of most evil.
Now, if you buy this argument, then the question becomes one of how much is enough? How much is too much? When does taking care of yourself turn into greed? This brings me to one of MY questions:
If we took the wealth of the entire world including everything held or produced by individuals, families, governments, corporations, and religions, and we divided it evenly across everyone on the planet, how much would a single individual have?
Yikes. I don’t have an answer for Sean, but I’m still thinking about his response to Amy’s question. You can also see things as a continuum, – if I want the strength to love others actively (which is the only way that counts), I first must love myself actively – kind of the meta of putting on your own oxygen mask and then your child’s, in the event of an emergency, etc. It’s a rare bird indeed that can find fulfillment in working for others to the point of exhaustion, destitution, self-abnegation. (We can all probably name some of those people, who find strength from Lord knows where to do their work in miserable conditions and are sometimes, to their own distaste, lionized.) I know this argument has been misused to justify self-absorption, but taken straight, it still holds up. Meet your own needs not instead of, but in the interest of, addressing the needs of others. Every parent knows this on some level (e.g., I need sleep so that I can be receptive and alert for my child).
Is it also kind of like: “I can’t help anyone unless I help myself”? Or put another way: “I’m rather useless to others unless I’m good to myself”?
I remember thinking these things at 23 when my mother was diagnosed with stage 3C ovarian cancer….
Still thinking….