Expectations
Mar 21st, 2006 by Sean
Interesting things expectations. Quite the dual-edged sword. On the one hand, without expectations for ourselves and for others our lives would likely drift without much direction. What is direction if not an expectation of arriving at a particular place? On the other hand, expecations come from within us. They don’t, by necessity, have anything to do with reality — neither our reality nor any other. And when those expectations come in conflict with reality, then we struggle against that reality. Again, this is not necessarily a bad thing because progress can be made in that struggle. So when does it become a bad thing? What is the difference between a positive expectation and a negative one? Is there a difference? And if so, how do we know it?
One Response to “Expectations”
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funny thing is that i was reading about expectations just last night. what i am wrapping my head around, is that expectations aren’t the problem. identifying with them is what causes the problems. if “x” happens, then i’m happy. if “y” happens, then my life is crap. expectations, like thoughts, emotions, etc…are not of the soul. they are a extensions of the ego. when you do not identify with them, regardless of the outcome, the Self stays centered. in that way expectations (and most things) become neither good nor bad. i’ve been reading “Awareness” by Anthony deMello…his thoughts: “Hold on to expectations (good or bad) and you’re bound to be dissapointed.” and ” Where there is love there are no demands, no expectations, no dependency. I do not demand that you make me happy; my happiness does not lie in you. If you were to leave me, I will not feel sorry for myself; I enjoy your company immensely, But I do not cling.” Anthony de Mello (1931 – 1987) Jesuit Priest
i think that expectation is wholly separate from direction…and needs to be. direction is vital…i think the human mind needs it. however, direction with expectations attached to it limits where that direction may go and what the result may be. the worst outcomes have occurred when i have driven events to a particular place i had in mind. i think expectations become harmful when you cling to them. i think for me – as i would never dare speak for another – it is about direction and openness to possibility. quite often the result is even better than what i had wanted as it comes from a place of peace.
thoughts?
xo
susanne